The Wacky Waitress

Eric and I planned a night out with our friends Tom and Tara. All we knew was that we were going to go bowling. We needed to figure out where to eat. As we headed out to Crossroads, we all piped up about what we didn't want.

"No Mexican."
"No sushi."
"I just had seafood last night."

We decided on stardard American fare.

Tara suggested "Southtown", a restaurant she had heard of out by the mall. We walked in and got the typical those-aren't-regulars-staredown. We were told by a waitress to go ahead and pick a booth.

We chose the wrong booth.

A different waitress comes over, and looks, honestly, a little stoned. She asks how we're doing, we all say "great" and ask her back politely, to which she responded, "I could really use a cigarette. But don't tell the bosses. They're right over there. I'm about to be fired."

Well. Ok then.

She then asks for our drink orders.

Tara and I wanted water, and the boys wanted beer. She asked Eric if he wanted a draw, a bottle, or a frosty mug. He replied "draw" and she said, "Frosty mug is better." Then she asked Tom for his I.D. He's 38 (he does look younger than that, but not 21-sorry Tom!). So, apparently, was the waitress, though she looked A LOT older than he does. She brought them their frosty mugs.

Eric asked what the soups were and she replied with, "I don't know." Tara then read them off to him from the "Specials" board that was by the front door. He then ordered "chili soup" which the waitress gave him crap about for the rest of the evening. "Everyone just calls it chili. And it's really bland here. Don't tell the bosses I said that."

Tara and Tom briefly discussed onion rings, but when the waitress came back, she asked if they wanted the onion rings, and they said no, they had decided against it. The waitress then said that she had already placed the order because she had been sure they were going to get them. "Don't tell the bosses though."

We ordered the rest of our food, our onion rings were delivered, and then we waited. And waited. And waited. The waitress came back and got the guys a couple more "frosty mugs" and and told us that she was so sorry, but she had forgotten to turn the tickets in. She had finally gotten her smoke break and while out, realized that she still had our orders in her pocket. She was very sorry. "Don't tell the bosses."

Tom said the beer tasted different this time around, and Eric turned to me halfway through his to announce that he was wasted. Off a beer and a half. I'm wondering if the crazy waitress slipped the guys something.

She brings the food, apologizes again. She clears our plates. Apologizes again. And at some point we are pretty sure we heard her say something about how she could use a beer.

We paid for our food and left. And though we should've, we didn't tell the bosses what a crappy waitress she was.