Nostalgia

My husband is an extremely sentimental person. He still has toys and books from his childhood, tools from his grandpa, and we even live in a house that his grandparents built. I, on the other hand, am the complete opposite. My parents gave me a plastic tote full of items from my childhood.  I sat down and went through everything. I kept the Indian head pennies. I tossed the candle I made for them in 1^st grade, the papers I wrote in grade school, my art projects in junior high. I took a photo of a cool “old lady who lived in a shoe” clay boot I made in 8^th or 9^th grade, and promptly dropped it into the trash. “Stuff” makes me crazy. I am surrounded by it and try to purge it often. This quirk of mine makes my husband crazy and I think he is going to will himself to outlive me just so I don’t get rid of all of his stuff.

If the house burns down or is swept away by a tornado, it is likely I will have to commit Eric to an institution because he will be completely distraught. I will be sad about losing some of the kids’ photos, but there are SO many photos of them, and will still be so many photos taken of them in the future that it doesn’t really matter that much to me. My parents and my ex have copies of most things. Digital photos are backed up on Facebook and other places you can reach from anywhere. My "stuff" I don't really care about. I can always buy new things. I've been wanting a new sofa anyway... 

There are a couple things that are irreplaceable though.

I own a piece of artwork that hung in my grandparents’ home (the Boesens) that I have had since my mid 20’s and it hangs in my dining room. I have a set of brass bells on a rope that those same grandparents had hanging up in their home. I’m still looking for a good place to put these, but they are hung in the basement for now. I think I might have a clay bowl that a great-grandmother made. A couple of milk glass vases. A set of "nude" lady porcelain drinking glasses painted by my maternal grandmother. None of those can be replaced. Because someone else's milk glass vase has no meaning for me. 

I have a couple of old photos that mean the world to me though. Thankfully the originals are with my parents, and I have digital copies, so they will never truly be lost. 

Betty and Louie Billick. Ada Boesen.

None of the people in this photo are still alive. On the right is my Grandma Boesen who passed away just after I turned 4. To this very day, cinnamon toast and Coca-Cola make me think of her. The other woman is her sister Betty. And the man is Betty’s husband, Louie. This photo was taken at Cattle Congress, behind Estelle Hall, where Betty and Louie ran a concession stand. It was still there during my child hood and I visited that concession stand at least twice every year during the fair. I especially remember getting 3 foot ropes of red licorice. It was the only place I’d ever had it.

The three of them look so happy in this picture. Aunt Betty’s smile was contagious. Uncle Louie’s kindness was unmatched. And my grandmother, well, I don’t know what to say about her except that she died way too young and I never really had the chance to know her. But I still miss her anyway. Maybe even more so because I feel robbed of time with her.

And this photo, with all of my grandparents at my parents’ wedding in August of 1971. I LOVE this photo too. 

Don and Ada Boesen. Norma and Howard Briden.

My maternal grandparents (on the right) are 90 and 91 and living in Sun City, Arizona. Eric and I drove out in February of 2013 for my grandpa's 90th birthday. I sadly could not make it this past March to my grandma's. I need to get out there again soon, because their health is rapidly declining. I'm just happy to have had almost 40 years so far with them. 

So my husband is wrong when he says I am cold hearted or not sentimental. I am. But I don't need a car or house or garden tool of my grandpa's to remember him. I have hours and hours of big band music that does just that. I have just a couple of items from my grandma, and that's enough. My Grandpa Briden made me choose one of his wood carvings when I was in Arizona last time, and I will have that after he passes. I wore some of my Grandma Briden's costume jewelry in my wedding 3 years ago. I don't need much "stuff"  in order to remember my loved ones who have passed on. My memories will suffice. And maybe when my memory isn't so fantastic anymore, and I don't remember much about them, I won't miss them so much.