It's all about the accessories

I had planned to post this closer to Halloween so the pictures were more applicable, but accessorizing is a year round endeavor, so it doesn't really matter if I'm using my Halloween costume as the example, does it? 

I've been wanting to get some other crazy people to go along with me and be the Clue Characters for Halloween. This past Halloween I finally did it! Right after Halloween 2012 I found a pair of shoes with peacock feathers painted on them, and it was fated I would be Mrs. Peacock. I then started looking for a dress, and couldn't find one I liked in teal, so I went with purple. I was going for the same time period as the movie, more than I was a specific color. I was worried, though, about stealing Professor Plum's color, so I made sure to add as much teal as possible. 

Here is the dress without accessories (which I plan to shorten to knee length and wear to summer weddings, or other events I can get away with this style of dress) and with my accessories:

Now we'll go over some of the details. You will notice that under my dress I now have a tulle skirt in teal. This helped poof out the dress a little and add some more teal. This was made by my wonderful friend Jennifer Staack in Des Moines. Even with her crazy schedule, she was able to whip this up for me. 

Now, the shoes. I fell in love with these when I saw them on Modcloth.com and KNEW I had to have them. I found the glasses on Bleudame.com. These were actually the 2nd pair I purchased. The first pair weren't as true to the era. Most of the jewelery items I already owned. I happened to find the teal ring online just before our party, and bought it to add to the teal color I thought I needed as Mrs. Peacock. I added a peacock pendant to my own wedding necklace, and bought a second pendant so I could take off the dangling "feathers" to add to real peacock feather earrings that my mother has had since the 70's. The rhinestone bracelet was my grandmother's and I had worn that for my wedding too. Everything else I had. 

I found a teal faux fur wrap online at Express after the holidays in 2012, on clearance for $10. And the feathered fascinator on ebay. I added some feathers to it to make it even more crazy, since Mrs. Peacock in the movie had problems with feathers in her face. This was the most fun I had had at Halloween. We won 1st prize at VooDoo Lounge's costume contest and came in 3rd for an online costume contest against a bunch of college students. 

And here is the whole cast of Clue. Thank you Shane & Molly Kahler, David and Krista McNurlen, and of course, my husband Eric, best Colonel Mustard ever! 

Pumpkin Carving 101

So... I saw this lovely post on Pinterest about carving pumpkins with a drill. I decided I could use this tool to create the sugar skull I wanted to make. 

What they don't show in the pretty picture on the right of the collage is the huge, uncontained mess that it makes (at least with big, juicy pumpkins) or that the drill bit and drill become totally gross with pumpkin innards and that the heat of the drill turns some of those pumpkin bits into a substance on the drill and bit that is much like drying  rubber cement. It was gooey and incredibly hard to remove from the bits I used and the drill itself. 

It did, however, make creating the sugar skull a WHOLE LOT easier. 

Not bad, I say. 

Happy Halloween!!

Nicole Ann and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Since I have discovered (been coerced into using) Pinterest, I have come across some absolutely wonderful blogs. Some are just full of humor, making me laugh, and ultimately adding to my book collection. Others have useful beauty tips. And still others have the recipes that have been tried and tested and are now "pinned" to my food board, some of which have actually been made. 

The above is stated because ultimately, these things have brought me back to the blog I started years ago, but didn't do much with. And I have this burning desire to actually BE one of those bloggers people can tell their friends about.  Maybe they like my humorous quips. Maybe I'll start posting about the food I make or some interior design tips. How to organize, how to get great bargains without spending hours clipping coupons (doesn't do much good in Iowa anyway), how to accessorize or dress a larger framed body, how to deal with a husband who won't ever put the toilet seat down despite writing "PUT ME DOWN" under the seat (you would think that would work, but it didn't), etc., etc.  And after today, I need the outlet. And the support. 

We'll pretend none of you know me. I've got 2 boys who are 9 and 13 from a previous marriage. My ex has custody of them most of the time because a job loss pretty much forced me to move 100 miles from them, while fighting for custody for them, after having just signed divorce papers, granting 50/50 custody. The courts are stupid, and since they were with their dad for the battle, I lost. I try not to feel like a horrible mother, because society says the kids should be with their mom. I have one friend in particular that I can lean on because she did the same. She has helped me a great deal. And for the most part I do OK. I travel the state for work, and rationalize that this way I don't have to make it back by any certain time to take care of anyone. I can plan my trips around my clients, and because I work the whole state, I can plan my trips around my boys' school events as well. Their dad can barely make it to anything and he lives right there. I also get them for most of the summer, and this is a much better place for them to be for most of the summer. However, their father is neglecting taking them for eye doctor appointments and follow-up dental appointments to get cavities taken care of because he doesn't have the time. He had the time to fight me in court to keep them there. But he doesn't actually have the time FOR them. So I had a little melt down today. And I took it out on my mother, who I've always felt could have backed me up a little more during the custody battle. Every child wants to feel protected by their parents, even if that child is an adult with children of her own. She and my dad just stood back and watched events play out instead of standing up for me and saying, "Are you fucking out of your mind? The kids belong with her!" Even if it didn't do any good in the end (and it probably wouldn't have) it would have made me feel better. But instead, they kept their mouths shut. And I kept my mouth shut. Until today, when the dam broke, and I made my mother cry. I apologized, but it made me feel like shit anyway. But I was also kind of happy she finally knew how I felt. 

So all of that is going on and my husband is out of town on RAGBRAI (Register's Annual Great Bike Ride Across Iowa) driving a Winnebago for a crew of awesome cyclists, so they have a support vehicle. My puppy goes in for surgery "to remove her lady parts" as my 9 year old says (because it was easier than explaining reproduction to him). We have a family reunion coming up this weekend and I'm not sure what to do with the puppy or the big dog, Zima and Swisher respectively. They really should be separated, or her stitches will surely burst with the rough housing they do. I feel overwhelmed. 

I was laying in bed, already crying a little and somewhat upset. My mom called me to talk about something else, and could tell something was wrong. She asked, I said, "Nothing.' She asked again, and because I have an affliction I like to call "diarrhea of the mouth" it all came rushing out with no stopping. I told her about the dental appointments not followed up on and how pissed I was that I had to take over eye care, and I ripped into her for not standing up for me. This made her cry. She was at work. After our conversation, she called my dad, still crying. He later in the day left a message for me. I didn't want to answer the phone because I thought he was going to yell at me. He didn't. I called him back. He came over and hugged me and gave me the name of a lawyer he thinks might be able to help. I appreciate this gesture, although I also know my money would be wasted on a lawyer. 

*The previous was all written in July, but not published because it was too fresh a wound, and I still felt like a jackass. It's now October. My relationship with my parents is better because of the blow up, I think. I used to complain about my ex to my parents and receive nothing in return. No empathy. No support. I complained about him a couple of weeks ago because he went ahead and ordered school pictures of the boys FOR me without asking what I wanted, and I wanted more than he got me. My mom actually sent him a text complaining about it. GO MOM!! So maybe my meltdown wasn't so horrible after all. That day in July was a terrible, horrible, no good very bad day though, and I don't want a repeat. Ever. 

How's Married Life?

If there was one question I wish people would stop asking, it would be, "How's married life?" Honestly, it's the same as it was before the wedding, except there is no more wedding planning, and the proverbial shit has hit the fan. We are both on the road all the time; Eric's mom has had health problem after health problem with no signs of it letting up in the near future; we got a puppy who is absolutely adorable, but needs some obedience training; I was the director of the band shell for Sturgis Falls again (this year, it was not as rosy as last... ); my dad had hip replacement surgery; my parents celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary; and Eric and I haven't killed each other despite the stress.

I am SOOOO looking forward to a honeymoon in Australia in February. Unplug, and recharge.

I am also looking forward to attending a wedding in San Diego this month, our annual Halloween party next month, and work slowing down for Eric after that, so I can teach him how to cook. ;)~

Married life is stressful (as it is for any couple) but it is good.

10 Things I learned Sturgis Falls Weekend

10. You actually CAN have too many mini donuts.

9. House guests are not the greatest idea when you're the director of the bandshell and are tied to event ALL weekend.

8. Sound guys are named Mouse and Chi-Chi.

7. Sleep is over rated.

6. Mother Nature had great timing with overnight storms instead of storming during the day.

5. The parade can be missed and life moves on.

4. She needs to send a thank you letter to Secret deodorant for keeping her from stinking from sweating all day, every day.

3. It can be fun being the bike police and moving unattended bikes to bike racks.

2. The other directors that she has had all of 10 hours contact with since meeting, are REALLY great people and she loved actually getting to know a lot of them better.

1. It was TOTALLY worth volunteering for the position, and giving her weekend to her home town.

Spring Break summed up in 160 words.

Thursday: 7:30pm departure. E forgets sunglasses blocks away. Return home to retrieve. Pick up boys in DM, continue to San Antonio. Friday, eat at artsy place with acoustic music downtown. Saturday, St. Patty's Day parade in fron of the Alamo. River walk. Half rack of ribs. Sunday, tried Sea World but FAILED due to extreme cost. Took the kids to a park and they loved it. Overwelmed parking lot at tool store. Avatar 3D sold out in afternoon. Great dinner at Freebird Burritos. Avatar 3D with pre-purchased tickets at night was awesome. Monday, tried Enchanted Rock National Park, but so did everyone else. Turned around to check out Fredricksburg instead. Homemade meatball sub dinner with "Up In The Air" (kids watched "Shorts"). Tuesday, traveled to Dallas, traffic sucked, dinner with friends ROCKED! Left Dallas at 12:30am and headed to Kansas City for breakfast with another friend. Home by 3:30pm Wednesday. Hope the boys appreciate it. I know I do.

H A I R

I've been thinking about things recently that make me laugh, and hair is one of them. Let me start this post off by quoting a little bit of a short story, titled "I'm Gonna Kick Your Ass" by my favorite author, Laurie Notaro.

"It was not the firm, shiny loop that initially caught my attention. It was not.

It was the long, sinewy, arms, thin and stringy and so pale they were nearly light green, lifting up the twenty-pound bag of Sensitive Stomach dog food from the counter into the cart. As he lifted the bag, the owner of those arms grunted - no, no, no, forgive me, 'grunted' is too strong of a word, too gracious a word, too complimentary; mewled or whimpered is actually more accurate, much more precise a description - causing me to wonder what kind of nancy was wrestling with the bag, since I was the one who placed it on the counter to begin with and I can barely lift a jug of water with two hands.

And that is when, that is precisely when, I turned and saw it.

The Flippy Hair.

Flippy hair that was so extraordinarily flippy that any girl in the graduating class of 1978 would have eagerly traded her Sun-In Sassoon Gunne Sax Pearl White Tooth Drops soul for just a portion of that flip. Just a portion of it. It had kick, it had zing, it had pizzazz, it had chutzpah. The flip was absolutely amazing, it turned upward, away from the face, Farrah Fawcett-style, in an almost 360-degree loop all the way around the head like a halo. It looked like the creator had taken a bowl, a can of Aqua Net, and a wind tunnel and just went nuts. In the age of Chrissy, Jack, Janet, and nights spent sipping tequila sunrises at the Regal Beagle, it would have been the perfect hair, with the exception of one detail: It was on a guy.

It was on the guy with the linguine arms. And it looked stupid."

Oh how I love Laurie Notaro and her accurate and funny description of hair bad enough she wanted to kick it's ass. The following are some types of hair whose asses I would like to kick.

The Kate Gosselin:

I've seen A LOT of women with this hair cut, and they just look like bitches. They may be very nice people, but that's the image this hair gives off. This particular picture also illustrates my next hated hairstyle.

Skunk Hair:

I have never understood the obsession with dark hair on the lower half of your head and white/blond on the top. Really? What makes this cool? I'm thinking Pepe Le Pew....

Skater Hair:

My boys really want to grow their hair out. They have straight hair, and there's A LOT of it, so it would look so ridiculous. The kids with this hair are the same ones with their pants halfway down their butts with their boxers sticking out. I'm still not sure how gravity allows those pants to stay on.

The Skullet:

What cracks me up most about this, is that I was at Hy-Vee in Waterloo with Tyler (my youngest) last summer, and saw a skullet up close and personal. When the guy was out of earshot I started laughing. Tyler asked, "Whatcha laughing about, Mom?" I replied, "Nothing, Ty." Then he said, "That guy's hair?" So even a 5 year old thought it was funny.

The Comb-over:

WE KNOW YOU ARE BALD!! QUIT TRYING TO COVER IT UP!!

The Donald:

The $$ version of the comb-over. Donald, I know you think you have to keep your hair because it's an icon in it's own right, but you should seriously consider a new 'do!

I know that I am forgetting several that perplex me or tick me off or just leave me in awe, but at least those few should make you laugh (or in the case that it's your style, piss you off) but you at least know where I stand.

Hair, hair, o' glorious hair!!