Ode To My Snowman Pajama Pants

I was casually shopping at Old Navy several years ago,

When I came across pajama pants covered in snow.

Well, snowmen to be exact, wearing scarves of yellow and red,

And I decided they would be the perfect pants to wear to bed!

They stuck around for many years, even got me through my divorce.

They lived in Urbandale and Ankeny and Cedar Falls of course.

They were big and baggy, and comfortable as hell.

I wore them all winter long and in the summer sometimes as well.

This winter their primary job was as long underwear,

When jeans alone wouldn't do because it was so cold out there.

They started wearing a little thin, especially in the ass,

And I knew their time would be coming soon to pass.

They spent their last day on a farm, trudging through thigh high snow.

I knew it was too much for them, it was their time to go.

They went out with a BANG! splitting across the ass and at the seams.

Thank you pajama pants! Eternal rest, and sweet dreams!

RIP Snowman Pajama Pants

11-2005 to 2-2010

You will be dearly missed.

Michelin Man vs. Stay Puft Marshmallow Man

Have you ever wondered who would win a battle between the Michelin Man and the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man if they were the same size? I only ask because as I flip through an old Reader's Digest given to me by my parents (they have different ways of recycling than most of us) I see an advertisement for Michelin, and all I can see when I look at the puffy white (what the hell is this guy made of anyway?) dude, is the very large, very unhappy giant marshmallow that came after the Ghostbusters in the 1984 movie of the same name.


I posted this exact question as my status on Facebook, and got various answers, that sided with both characters, my favorite being, "Michelin is like rubber, Stay Puff is like glue, whater Stay Puff says bounces off Michelin and sticks to you!" (Thank you Eric Benson).




Let's analyze just a moment. Michelin looks very happy. Stay Puft was angry, though you really can't tell from this picture. Believe me when I say he was really pissed before they zapped him. Stay Puft is a sailor though... military training. Michelin has the "big guns." Ok. I really can't tell. I can only picture them now in sumo wrestling garb with black ponytails and goatees.


Seriously. What the hell is the Michelin Man made of? Literal "softness" for your ride on the road?

This looks a little like my diary, circa 1986

I googled myself today and found a comment I had left on a friend's blog. That led to looking through several of my other friends' blogs, and then onto my own. It seems no one is writing. I couldn't find anything in 2010. And it got me thinking... This looks a hell of a lot like my diary when I was a kid. I would write that I promised to write more and months later was the next entry, promising the same thing. Do we all make these promises? Life just gets in the way?

I feel it's healthy to get it all out, and if we can do that with a little humor and a lot of sarcasm, then it might as well be on a blog for all to see and to enjoy. People love to read about other people. So I am really going to try to be a little more consistent with entries. It might be my only way of "meditating" since I can never seem to turn my brain off to actually meditate.

So... Dear Readers. It has been months since my last entry. I am still jobless. I want to start my own business staging homes but am hitting a wall of reluctance with realtors. So I am considering getting my real estate license. I will do more research before jumping on the bandwagon, but it could come in very handy if Eric wants to own rental properties.

My boys are still in Des Moines, and I have discovered that I truly love being the "fun parent." It's not me constantly on Jake to get his homework done. I'll have more face to face time with them than their dad, and don't have the stress of getting them home from school, getting homework done, getting dinner made and getting them to bed on time. I get to hang out and watch movies and eat pizza in the living room and play Nerf and play games and take trips. And once it's nice out again we'll get to do a lot outside as well. It's not so bad.

I'm still making jewelry, though not as much, and my goal this next week is to get it all posted on Etsy.com. It's a very cool site for handmade objects. Hopefully it will help get the word out, and I can make a little money on the side while I am trying to get the staging business off the ground.

Well... that is about all for now. I promise (fingers crossed behind my back) that I will post more frequently.

Random Blah - Catching up

I watched the movie "Julie & Julia" tonight with my mother, while the boys and Eric went to "GI Joe". I am certain I got the better deal.

I thoroughly enjoyed the movie, and learned quite a bit about Julia Child during the course of it. I also realized I hadn't blogged in a very long time, and I missed letting everyone, yet no one, know what was going on in my world. It's like writing in a narcissistic diary of sorts.

I can't believe my last entry was in March. I will certainly have to remedy that.

In that span of time, I have moved full time to Cedar Falls, had my car crushed by a tree during the big wind storm in July, and had a hearing to determine temporary custody of the boys while the custody case moves on at a snail's pace. We lost the case, and the boys will remain in Des Moines during this time. I am dealing with it, though I am heartbroken not to be the parent Tyler comes home to after his first day of kindergarten. I am planning on sending him to school with a little note from me, and hope to get the full report that evening.

I've had an eventful summer, filled with trips to the pool, Nerf wars, a trip to Duluth, and a trip to Okoboji, both places I had never been. Today we went to Backbone State Park. I hadn't been there since college. It was nice to share it with the boys. We waded a bit, looked in the cave, and stopped by Richmond Springs. The trip was completed with a trip to Dairy Sweet, the ice cream place in Lamont that I always got to go to after trips to Backbone with my parents.

The boys are in bed (though doubt they are sleeping since Eric is playing drums in the basement), and I feel the need for some wine and cheese. So, I bid you a fond farewell, and Bon Appetit!

Pity Party, Table for One

Yes, I know my life could be worse, and I know many other people have much more to complain about than me, but according to a friend, blogs are about self-absorbed people, so this is all about ME, ME, ME!!

Remember when you were a kid, and all you wanted to do was grow up and be an adult? WHAT THE HELL WERE WE THINKING?? Being an adult is like being on a lifetime rollercoaster ride. The climb to the top is very long and very slow, and once you are there, you can't stay there. You have to tumble down, and the ride down is very fast.

Here's the Cliff's Notes version of my adulthood. (I wish I could chart the ups and downs for you, but I think you'll be able to tell just from the text).

Graduate high school. Meet Travis (the ex-husband). Move into Dancer Hall at UNI. Series of part time jobs through college. Transfer to Arizona State University my junior year, only to come back because they said everything would transfer and it didn't. I would've basically been starting over as a freshman, with no guarantee I would be accepted to their design program in two years. Graduate from UNI with a really crappy grade point, get married, and move to Des Moines, all in the summer of 1998. Can't find a full time job for 6 months. Get a job, get pregnant, lose job. Work 3 part time jobs while 9 months pregnant. Have Jake. 8 week unpaid maternity leave. Come back to one of the jobs as full time designer. Buy a new car. Buy a new townhouse. Total car in accident and lose job before the ink dries on the townhouse. Get a new (used) car. Get a new job. Find out new job will be straight commission after 6 months. Literally start losing hair. Get new job. Get pregnant. Have Tyler. 8 weeks unpaid maternity leave. Come back for a month and then lose job. Work for a temp agency. Find dream job as a territory sales rep. Sell new (used) car and drive a company van. All expenses paid. Company starts messing around with territories and brands and suddenly there isn't much left to do. Look for new job. Find new job, but with a major pay cut. Find new (used) car since there is no company van or paid expenses. Things with Travis fall apart. File for bankruptcy. Move out of townhouse. Once bankruptcy is final, realize that life would be better single. Move into a duplex. Have a relationship with a total cretin. End that. Start online dating. Find great stories for future book because most of those guys are WEIRD. Rent goes up, twice. Find a great townhouse to share with best friend. Divorce is finalized. Re-meet Eric and wonder what life would've been had this happened in high school. Find another dream job as a furniture rep. Life is good. Then...fight with the ex over child custody because a move to Cedar Falls is necessary. Lose job (again!).

So life is in limbo. I'm in CF when I don't have the kids, and DM when I do. Job prospects are grim, and where do I look since I live in 2 places?

But I digress. I have 2 adorable little boys (who drive me absolutely nuts). I have a great relationship with a GREAT guy. I have unemployment for the first time in my life to help get me through.

I guess things aren't so bad afterall.

The Wacky Waitress

Eric and I planned a night out with our friends Tom and Tara. All we knew was that we were going to go bowling. We needed to figure out where to eat. As we headed out to Crossroads, we all piped up about what we didn't want.

"No Mexican."
"No sushi."
"I just had seafood last night."

We decided on stardard American fare.

Tara suggested "Southtown", a restaurant she had heard of out by the mall. We walked in and got the typical those-aren't-regulars-staredown. We were told by a waitress to go ahead and pick a booth.

We chose the wrong booth.

A different waitress comes over, and looks, honestly, a little stoned. She asks how we're doing, we all say "great" and ask her back politely, to which she responded, "I could really use a cigarette. But don't tell the bosses. They're right over there. I'm about to be fired."

Well. Ok then.

She then asks for our drink orders.

Tara and I wanted water, and the boys wanted beer. She asked Eric if he wanted a draw, a bottle, or a frosty mug. He replied "draw" and she said, "Frosty mug is better." Then she asked Tom for his I.D. He's 38 (he does look younger than that, but not 21-sorry Tom!). So, apparently, was the waitress, though she looked A LOT older than he does. She brought them their frosty mugs.

Eric asked what the soups were and she replied with, "I don't know." Tara then read them off to him from the "Specials" board that was by the front door. He then ordered "chili soup" which the waitress gave him crap about for the rest of the evening. "Everyone just calls it chili. And it's really bland here. Don't tell the bosses I said that."

Tara and Tom briefly discussed onion rings, but when the waitress came back, she asked if they wanted the onion rings, and they said no, they had decided against it. The waitress then said that she had already placed the order because she had been sure they were going to get them. "Don't tell the bosses though."

We ordered the rest of our food, our onion rings were delivered, and then we waited. And waited. And waited. The waitress came back and got the guys a couple more "frosty mugs" and and told us that she was so sorry, but she had forgotten to turn the tickets in. She had finally gotten her smoke break and while out, realized that she still had our orders in her pocket. She was very sorry. "Don't tell the bosses."

Tom said the beer tasted different this time around, and Eric turned to me halfway through his to announce that he was wasted. Off a beer and a half. I'm wondering if the crazy waitress slipped the guys something.

She brings the food, apologizes again. She clears our plates. Apologizes again. And at some point we are pretty sure we heard her say something about how she could use a beer.

We paid for our food and left. And though we should've, we didn't tell the bosses what a crappy waitress she was.

DO OVER!

It's not often you find yourself in a point in your life where you get to do it all over. But I'm there right now.



I recently "re-met" the man of my dreams. Eric Myszka. I went to high school with him over 15 years ago, and found him last summer on Facebook. (Remind me to write Mark Zuckerberg a thank you note). We've been together ever since, and we're talking about "forever", and have, really, since I walked through his door on September 6th. It's like living the "What if?"








I have now also suddenly found myself without a job for the first time in 5 years. There really isn't much out there for interior designers with this wonderful economic state that we are in, so I'm seriously considering changing fields. Maybe something in healthcare. Maybe not. I'm heading over to the University of Northern Iowa today, just down the street, to see if I can become an adjunct professor for interior design. Me, molding today's young minds. MUAH HA HA!! THAT...would be a GREAT do-over!