This post is full of REALITY and swear words.
I thought I was fat in high school. I wish I could go back and bitch slap my 17-year-old-completely-delusional self. I mean seriously. I have about 100 pounds on that girl. What an idiot!
I gained the freshman 15 + another 35 or so in college. Gained more weight after getting married, moving to Des Moines and not being able to find a job for awhile. Gained more weight with my first pregnancy. The one benefit about being fat BEFORE you get pregnant is that you can fit into your pre-pregnancy jeans as soon as you get home from the hospital. Take THAT skinny bitches! (just kidding, I love you all and don't think you're bitches just because you're skinny).
I had a reprieve with my second pregnancy. I didn't gain much weight, and after Tyler's birth, I actually dropped below 200 for the first time in what seemed forever. I think it was honestly only 6 years, but it seemed like so much longer.
When I first got fat, I bought clothes that were much bigger than I actually was to try to hide my weight. And yes. I said fat. It's just an adjective. Like blonde, tall, funny, creative. Why give it a bad connotation? It's just a tiny little 3-letter word that accurately describes my extra adipose tissue. So what? The media and the website trolls...these are the people making the word bad. It's not. Anyway, here's a hint ladies (and gents)...that oversized clothing only makes you look bigger. It hides nothing. People aren't stupid. They can see you are fat. But they can also see you aren't comfortable with it. Some plus sized clothing that's available out there does NOTHING to make us look good. For example:
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| Courtesy of Zulily |
While I was searching for pictures of the high waist pants on Friends, I came across this awesome picture of Fat Monica. I love that girl! She sure had fun despite being plus sized!
So yes, I am fat. But I am also able to play volleyball twice a week, and get on a bike and ride several miles. My cholesterol is fine as is my blood pressure. I haven't needed any knee or hip replacements. So despite all this extra adipose tissue, I'm pretty healthy.
Once I learned how to dress for my size, it didn't matter much anymore what that size was. I actually had more guys ask me out when I separated from my ex than I ever had in high school or college. I was an overweight mom with two kids in my 30's. And no one cared. Because I didn't care. I was comfortable in my own stretch mark covered, cellulite dimpled skin.
This year I am resolving to STOP focusing so much on the number on the scale. I'm going to just live life and see what happens. I've taken the MyFitnessPal app off my phone and iPad. Looking at that line graph of weight lost and gained gives me heartburn.
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| This is literally my weight over the last 5 years. The beginning was not a steep drop, however. I changed my starting weight so I could feel better about myself when I lost a pound while weighing more than my original starting weight. Seeing "has lost 12 pounds" is much better than "has lost 0 pounds." |
I've been unsuccessfully dieting for well over two decades and I am just DONE with it. Fuck it. If I am fat, I'm fat. I can still look good. Everyone can. You just have to dress for your weight. If you need help, just call me. I'd love some new shopping buddies!
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| Dress Up: Tulle Skirt from Charlotte Russe, Jacket from Express Men, Tank from Vanity Casual: Jeans from New York & Co, shirt and vest from Maurices Work: Pants from JCPenney, Tank from Vanity, Sweater from Zulily |
