Fallen Off the Wagon

I have a serious case of the “fuck its.” This has led me to fall completely off the wagon as far as food goes. And that leads me to be pissed for a couple of reasons. I’m pissed because I let myself somehow crawl dangerously close to my highest weight ever…when I gave birth to Jake in 2000. I’m pissed because what I eat affects my body more than the same food affects other people. I have counted the calories. I have logged the exercise. 

Most people can lose weight with this combo. I can’t. I have found the only way for me to lose any weight is to cut out carbs. Like ALL carbs. Including fruits. Which sucks because I really like fruit.

I have read SO many books on the subject. One that makes sense to me is “The Metabolism Miracle” by Diana Kress. She’s a registered dietician who figures there are a couple of types of metabolism. One where diet and exercise work. And one where someone like me eats the amount of food appropriate for someone half my size. But is still BIG. And not losing weight.

I read it a couple of summers ago. I had great luck following the guidelines until Sturgis Falls and Eric’s half birthday party threw me off course with delicious mini donuts and birthday cake. And I never had the motivation to get back on it. So that was the least I’ve weighed in almost 2 years.

So I’m trying again. The premise is making sure you eat often throughout the day, never having more than 5 hours in between eating. This is not a new concept. But it is hard for me sometimes with back to back appointments and long sessions on the road. Or even long sessions on my computer where I lose track of time. I might need to set an alarm.

For 8 weeks you can’t have more than 5 net carbs within 5 hours. The small amount of carbs in cheeses and most veggies don’t count. Then the next phase you add a few carbs back in. You stay on that phase until you reach your goal weight. Then you can add a few more back.  This in essence is supposed to reset your metabolism so that having 3 potato chips doesn’t add a pound onto the scale.

I’m writing this not to hear other people’s advice, because I know there is A LOT out there. Paleo, Vegetarian, Vegan, Atkins, South Beach, Mediterranean… There are SO many ways to eat. I’m trying to find my own way. So I’m just writing this for accountability and support.

My biggest problem is my household filled with boys. And their love of carbs. And their unwillingness to eat the way I NEED to eat. But also, they don't have the problem I have. So they don't NEED to eat the way I do. And honestly, they probably shouldn't. It makes meal times and snack times difficult.

But I have to try. Because I am disgusted by how I look. I am livid that I can’t fit into the clothes I love. I have come to accept the fact that I will NEVER be thin. I’m strong and muscular under all this flab. So my goal is just to be less squishy. Make me accountable. Help me along. Send me ideas for meals and snacks that are really high in protein and very low in carbs. And thanks for being there for me no matter what I look like. I love you guys.